She is in my trunk
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
