i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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