do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize