his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
