Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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