Cold hands, warm shart.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize