I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
