he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
