He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
