ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Randomize
