Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
