I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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