i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
