um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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