I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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