with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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