at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
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