definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize