it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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