he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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