She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Randomize
