im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Randomize
