her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
