Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss