i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
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