But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
When are your genitals available?
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
