Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(571): View more from Virginia

he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time

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(937): View more from Ohio

Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.

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(254): View more from Texas

I'M GETTING MARRIED!

(512): View more from Texas

YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up

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25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
Read it at the TFLN blog
(617): View more from Massachusetts

did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?

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(928): View more from Arizona

Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.

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(727): View more from Florida

You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.

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(682): View more from Texas

I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.

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(217): View more from Illinois

I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.

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