U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
yea but for you.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
zippers are such a cool invention
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
My liver is preforming stress tests.