he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.