Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
