i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
