If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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