i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
