I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize