"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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