i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
