I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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