It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
