what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
