..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
My vagina just recognized that song.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
