FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
