Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
