I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
