theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
