Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
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Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
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Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
My Sexting was not on an AP level
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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