It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
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My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
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His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
My dick has a subreddit
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
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