O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
