I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
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