Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
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