my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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