my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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