He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
