yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
