:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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