Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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