matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
i now understand why vodka
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Randomize
