i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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