yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
