Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
