Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
operation harelip BJ is a go
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
