plz talk dirty to me
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Randomize
