I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Randomize
